{"id":4548,"date":"2021-08-29T16:36:22","date_gmt":"2021-08-29T16:36:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/2021\/08\/29\/friend-lover-parent-based-on-song-of-solomon\/"},"modified":"2021-08-29T16:36:22","modified_gmt":"2021-08-29T16:36:22","slug":"friend-lover-parent-based-on-song-of-solomon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/2021\/08\/29\/friend-lover-parent-based-on-song-of-solomon\/","title":{"rendered":"Untitled"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cFriend, Lover, Parent\u201d based on Song of Solomon 2:8-13<\/h1>\n
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Who is the best friend you’ve ever had? The one who listened to what you said and what you didn’t say, the one who could make you laugh with a simple look, the one you trusted to tell you the truth even when you didn’t want to hear it, and trusted to have your back even if you’d done something wrong??<\/p>\n

I hope for you that you have had such a friend, and that if you haven’t, that you WILL have such a friend. I hope you have enough such friends it is hard to figure out who is the best. But whether such a friendship has lasted your whole life, or it was a short lived one, or even one you read about rather than experienced directly, I invite you to consider how it felt.<\/p>\n

Keb’ Mo’s song \u201cOne Friend\u201d has the refrain:<\/p>\n

All I need is one friend
To get me through the
Day
One friend
That never goes away
Only one friend
To understand
And never let me down<\/p>\n

The whole is a better place with a friend, and it is a whole lot less lonely. One of the \u201cuniversal human needs\u201d is \u201cshared reality\u201d and when I think of friendship, I often think of it as centering around \u201cshared reality.\u201d Well, that and \u201caffection\u201d and \u201chumor.\u201d<\/p>\n

There is an intimacy to friendship, a joy in being known and seen and in seeing and knowing another. It makes life meaningful. And fun. Friendships make space for authenticity, imperfection, emotions, spontaneity, and general quirkiness. They let us be who we are, and help us let go of who we’re supposed to be.<\/p>\n

The primary metaphor for God in Christianity is of God the Father. When we’re being expansive that becomes God as Parent, and occasionally God as Mother. But the primary metaphor is a top down one. God sets the rules, God sits in judgement, God knows better than we do.<\/p>\n

In their essence, a lot of arguments I hear within The United Methodist could easily be boiled down to, \u201cDo you believe in a Daddy-knows-best (Paternalistic)sort of God or in an everyones-opinions-and-needs-are-valued-here (egalitarian) sort of God?\u201d They’re both parenting styles, and they largely buy in to the \u201cGod as Parent\u201d metaphor.<\/p>\n

At one point in my life, a friend who belongs to the Self-Realization Fellowship asked I was at that particular time most connected to God through the metaphor of parent, the metaphor of lover, or the metaphor as friend. This was his take on the usefulness of the Trinitarian model, and I rather like it. He put the three metaphors on equal footing, and when he entered into prayer and meditation, checked with himself to see which aspect of the Divine was accessible to him at that point.<\/p>\n

The passage from the Song of Songs seems to guide us a little bit more towards the God-as-lover metaphor, but I decided to start with friendship because I think the point of BOTH is intimacy. Our culture brings so much baggage to sexuality and romance that it can become hard to shake off the baggage and see what’s underneath it.<\/p>\n

Also, despite the extensive tradition of sexualizing one’s spirituality (today most visible in \u201cJesus is my boyfriend\u201d music, historically most visible in mystic monasticism), I prefer to think of the two as informing each other rather than overlapping.<\/p>\n

The best part of our intimate relationships (friendships or sexual\/romantic relationships) teach us useful skills that we can bring to our spirituality. The best parts of our spiritual connection with the Divine helps us bring our fullest self to other intimate relationships.<\/p>\n

Every experience we have of mutuality, of connection, of love, and of intimacy makes possible the next one. As we build our capacity to trust \u201cthe Other\u201d with ourselves, we get better at trust. And all of these things \u2013 mutuality, connection, love, intimacy, and trust are aspects of friendship, of sexual and\/or romantic relationships, and of our spirituality.<\/p>\n

As people, we YEARN for connection. We’re also scared of it. And that applies to people and to God!<\/p>\n

The book Song of Solomon is a series of erotic love poems. For many people, it is a surprise to find it in the Bible! And yet, many, many, MANY of our ancestors in faith considered it the pinnacle of the Bible itself. Many interpreters try to spiritualize the erotic text, taking one of the lovers as the Nation of Israel, or the Church, or a single person of faith, and God as the other lover. I’m less interested in those interpretations, and far more interested in the ones that think that the Song is about two human lovers.<\/p>\n

If the Song of Songs is about two human lovers who appreciate each other’s love, and bodies, and passion, then it is in the Bible as a reminder that the love of PEOPLE can open us to the love of God and the love of God can open us to the love of people. Also, if it is a celebration of physical love, then we are quite simply reminded of the potential goodness of physical love and in our society, that’s an imperative reminder.<\/p>\n

Dear ones, I believe the point here is quite simple: nurture healthy love where-ever you find it. Celebrate healthy love at every opportunity. Make time for love, make space for love, and make love a priority. Because love nurtures love, and love is what matters.<\/p>\n

Thanks be to the God of love and relationships. Amen<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Rev. Sara E. Baron\u00a0<\/p>\n

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady\u00a0<\/p>\n

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305\u00a0<\/p>\n

Pronouns: she\/her\/hers\u00a0<\/p>\n

http:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/FUMCSchenectady<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

August 31, 2021<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cFriend, Lover, Parent\u201d based on Song of Solomon 2:8-13 Who is the best friend you’ve ever had? The one who … Continue reading Untitled<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[34,38,28,39,33,1733,1734,1735,1736,56,1737,57],"class_list":["post-4548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-fumc-schenectady","tag-progressive-christianity","tag-rev-sara-e-baron","tag-thinking-church","tag-umc","tag-another-viewpoint-on-trinity","tag-friend-lover-parent","tag-intimacy","tag-intimacy-with-god","tag-schenectady","tag-sexuality-and-spirituality","tag-sorry-about-the-umc"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4548"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4548\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}