Growing
\nup, we had big Thanksgivings. \u00a0It was the holiday set aside for my
\nmother’s side of the family, and she is one of 5 siblings who have a
\ncombined 11 offspring. \u00a0The holiday moved around between their
\nhouses, with 20-30 of us gathered however we would fit. \u00a0There was
\ndefinitely a kid’s table, and I was always at it. \u00a0It was loud,
\nchaotic, and intense. \u00a0As a child that meant a lot of play, a lot of
\nplaymates, and a lot of fun. \u00a0I’m told there were also a lot of
\ndishes. \u00a0Because it was the only time we got together, there were
\nChristmas presents too, and because it was the only time we got
\ntogether, there was plenty of family drama too.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
I loved
\nthose big Thanksgivings.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
My
\nfirst year of seminary, in California, I decided not to fly home for
\nthe short break. \u00a0Instead a dear friend from college \u2013 also from
\nthe northeast, also living in California, came down to be with me.
\nThe two of us stayed in pajamas all day, read for pleasure, and ate
\nwhat we wanted when we wanted to. \u00a0There was no turkey, because she
\nwas vegetarian. \u00a0I was happy to cook. \u00a0She was happy to clean up. \u00a0We
\ngrazed on pies, side dishes, laughter, and books\t all day. \u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
That
\nwas the day I learned that holidays don’t have to be stressful.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
This
\nyear, a lot fewer people are going to have the big, loud, messy
\nThanksgivings. \u00a0I hope this year more people will have surprisingly
\nlovely small, quiet, unstressful ones.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
However,
\nI know there is a lot of real grief in being separated from those we
\nlove. \u00a0This has already been a difficult year, and coming into the
\nholiday season, it is especially difficult. \u00a0When we stopped having
\nin person worship in March, I wasn’t able to REALLY believe we’d have
\nto do Easter from our homes. \u00a0You may remember that we decided to
\n\u201cjust wait until we could be in person\u201d to do the Easter
\nphotoshow. \u00a0(Submissions are still being received on that basis.)<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
As time
\nwent on, I became aware we weren’t going to get back together before
\nI went out on Family Leave, and started to hope to be together for
\nHomecoming. \u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
Now it
\nis November, we aren’t having worship in person again in 2020, and
\npeople are figuring out how to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, and
\nNew Years over zoom. \u00a0Christmas worship planning involves a lot of
\npre-recording. \u00a0The church’s advent wreath is staying upstairs this
\nyear, while the amazing Altar Guild made us at home ones so we can
\nwait in hope together \u2026 but apart.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
Now it
\nis Thanksgiving week and giving thanks has gotten a lot more
\ncomplicated than we’d like.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
I’m not
\nsure we identify with the leper who gave thanks nor the lepers who
\ndon’t. \u00a0As a society at least, I think we feel like the lepers who
\nweren’t healed, the ones not in the story, the ones who didn’t happen
\nto meet Jesus that day.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
Or, in
\nthe metaphor of the Hebrew Bible Lesson, it doesn’t feel like we are
\nliving in the goodness of the Promised Land. \u00a0Perhaps it feels like
\nwe’re still wandering in the desert, perhaps like we’re still living
\nin oppression in Egypt. \u00a0Maybe like we lost the promise and are in
\nexile.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
The
\nopening words of Psalm 137 may meet us in this moment:<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
By the
\nrivers of Babylon\u2014
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0there we sat down and there
\nwe\u00a0wept
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0when we remembered Zion.
On the
\nwillows there
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0we hung up our harps.
For
\nthere our captors
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0asked us for songs,
and our
\ntormentors asked for mirth, saying,
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Sing us
\none of the songs of Zion!\u2019\n<\/p>\n
How
\ncould we sing the Lord\u2019s song
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0in a foreign
\nland?\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
How can we sing praises
\nwhen things are so HARD?<\/p>\n
How can we celebrate
\nThanksgiving when fear, death, and destruction surround us?<\/p>\n
Sure, we can participate in
\nAdvent, and name how much we NEED God, and how much we are WAITING
\nfor things to be better.<\/p>\n
But, how can we celebrate
\nGod’s breaking-into-the-world (Christmas) when we are still in the
\nyearning?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
And, dear ones, if you are
\noverwhelmed, sad, grieving, weary, lonesome, annoyed, or exhausted, I
\ndon’t think you are over-reacting. \u00a0Things are HARD, and there is no
\nend in sight.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
By the rivers of Babylon
\n(which, it is clear, are the WRONG Rivers, they are not the River
\nJordan), there we sat down and there we wept when we remembered.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
These words may be a model
\nfor us. \u00a0It is OK to sit in grief and remember what was. \u00a0It is OK to
\nbe horrified by what is. \u00a0It is OK to not like any of this, at all,
\nand be angry to be stuck in it. \u00a0It is OK, even to be sad that \u201cat
\nleast the exiles got to cry TOGETHER, we have to cry apart.\u201d \u00a0\n<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That’s fair.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It cheapens gratitude to be
\nforced into it, and it cheapens gratitude to come to it without also
\nnaming the things that are broken and hard and awful. \u00a0It cheapens
\ngratitude to tell ourselves that others have it worse, so we don’t
\nget to be sad or mad. \u00a0It isn’t a competition. \u00a0The pandemic is
\nallowed to be hard for everyone.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So, this is my proposal, my
\nsuggestion, my \u201cmeans of grace for this week.\u201d \u00a0I invite you to
\ntake an HOUR to sit down with your accumulated grief from this year.
\nYou may want to write it out as a long list, you may want to journal
\nit, you may want to draw it, or paint it, or play it on the piano,
\nwalk it out, or just sit with it. \u00a0Do this on or by Wednesday. \u00a0If
\nyou can’t get an hour, take 6 minutes. \u00a0If you complete and hour and
\nyou aren’t done, give yourself more time.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
But, BE WITH your grief.
\nLet it live and breath and exist. \u00a0I know for some of us, it is scary
\nand it feels like we will break if you even start to let it out, but
\nyou won’t. \u00a0You are stronger than you think and you are held up by
\nthe God of Love. \u00a0(How else would you have made it this far?)<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Then, and only then, I
\ninvite you to spend some time on Thanksgiving reflecting on what you
\nare grateful for. \u00a0Ideally, I’d say give this an hour as well, but
\nmaybe only 6 minutes can be found, and maybe it will take all day.
\nDon’t skip this part though. \u00a0Some of the things we are grateful for
\nare sly \u2013 and if we don’t look for them, we might miss them. \u00a0This
\nprocess won’t work unless you can name your grief, but it also won’t
\nwork if you ONLY name your grief.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I know and trust that God
\nis with us, that God is doing amazing things, that God is at work to
\nmake things better. \u00a0But I don’t believe in cheap grace. \u00a0We can’t
\npretend the hard away, and we can’t keep pushing through it. \u00a0We may
\nbe a resurrection people, but that requires acknowledging the things
\nof death first.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
THEN we get to notice the
\namazing power of life.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
So, I wish you a wonderful,
\nif unusual Thanksgiving. \u00a0And, because of that I wish you an hour to
\ngrieve and an hour to be grateful. \u00a0May you feel God’s presence in
\nboth times of prayerful reflection. \u00a0Amen <\/p>\n
–<\/p>\n
Rev. Sara E. Baron
First United Methodist Church of Schenectady
603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305
Pronouns: she\/her\/hers
http:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/<\/a>
https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/FUMCSchenectady<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"