{"id":945,"date":"2019-04-15T01:56:18","date_gmt":"2019-04-15T01:56:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/2019\/04\/15\/figuring-out-priorities-discernment-as-prayer\/"},"modified":"2020-02-15T18:22:45","modified_gmt":"2020-02-15T18:22:45","slug":"figuring-out-priorities-discernment-as-prayer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/2019\/04\/15\/figuring-out-priorities-discernment-as-prayer\/","title":{"rendered":"“Figuring Out Priorities, Discernment as Prayer Practice” based on Psalm 126 and John 12:1-8"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/figure>\n

<\/p>\n

This
\nMary washing Jesus’s feet with her hair story is a variation on
\nstories found in the Synoptic Gospels. \u00a0Just to clarify a few things
\nthat you might have heard: \u00a0this is the Mary of Mary and Martha, not
\nMary of Magdala; \u00a0there is no reason to believe that the woman in the
\nstory was a prostitute; \u00a0that said there were a few indiscretions
\ninherent in the story! \u00a0To name them succinctly: \u00a0women weren’t
\nsupposed to be a part of formal dinner parties (then again Mary
\nwasn’t supposed to sit at Jesus’s feet as a disciple either), \u00a0a
\nwoman taking her hair down in public was scandalous, and feet aren’t
\nalways really FEET in the Bible, even though I think they are here.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Other
\nthan Jesus, all the characters in this story are unique to John’s
\nversion. \u00a0Given that, it is quite interesting that Judas is put in
\nthe role he is. \u00a0It works well as foreshadowing. \u00a0It also works well
\nto explain a few things. \u00a0When Judas is called a \u201cthief\u201d in the
\nstory, the particular verb is the same one used in chapter 10 to
\ndescribe a thief who steals sheep. \u00a0Thus, \u201cThe expression ‘not
\nbecause he cared about the poor’ echoes the description of the hired
\nhand’s lack of care for the sheep (10:13). \u00a0The use of these words
\nsuggests that the description of Judas is intended to point the
\nreader toward the proper context in which to place Judas’s actions.
\nWhen he betrays Jesus, he betrays the sheep.\u201d1<\/sup><\/a>
\n Thus when Mary takes care of Jesus, she takes care of the sheep too.
\n The shepherd and the sheep are interdependent.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

John’s
\nversion of this story sets up an interesting question: is it better
\nto use the super expensive (5 figure) perfume on Jesus or to sell it
\nand give the proceeds to the poor? \u00a0The answer most theologians have
\ngiven is that it is good to be devoted to Jesus. \u00a0The text sets us up
\nto think this way by saying that not even Judas meant the money for
\nthe poor. \u00a0However, I think it is a valid question! \u00a0\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I
\nthink it is a REALLY valid question. \u00a0After all, how do we decide
\nwhat to do with our resources? \u00a0Most of us, most of the time, aren’t
\nin possession of perfume worth’s a year salary that was hand carried
\nfrom India to Bethany, but we do have our own resources to care
\nabout. \u00a0How do we decide what to give away, and what to use? \u00a0How do
\nwe decide what portions of our time to give away? \u00a0When are are ready
\nto give something away \u2013 time, or money, resources or energy- how
\ndo we know where to best put it?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I’m
\nnot a great decider when it comes to such questions (or most others.)
\n I tend to think like a Tupper, \u201cI need more data!\u201d \u00a0The answer
\nbetween \u201cshow devotion\u201d and \u201ccare for the vulnerable\u201d is
\nfuzzy for me plenty of the time. \u00a0\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

And
\nI worry that when I don’t decide, when I just go about my day to day
\nlife without thinking too hard, I’m even more likely to err than if I
\nconsider a decision carefully and then choose \u201cwrong.\u201d \u00a0Yet the
\nfear of being wrong often leads me to the status quo, and the status
\nquo isn’t particularly intentional.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Luckily
\nthere is something called discernment. \u00a0Apple dictionary does a great
\njob with the word \u201cdiscernment.\u201d \u00a0The first definition is \u201cthe
\nability to judge well\u201d the second is \u201c(in Christian contexts)
\nperception in the absence of judgement with a view to obtaining
\nspiritual direction and understanding.\u201d2<\/sup><\/a>
\n So, in a very practical way discernment is deciding, but it has more
\nnuance: it is about making decisions spiritually. \u00a0I suspect that
\nsounds fine and good to most of you \u2013 but also a bit meaningless.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I
\nhave two practical offerings for you \u2013 two means of getting into
\ndiscernment. \u00a0The first is a spiritual practice called \u201cDaily
\nExamen.\u201d \u00a0I’ve mentioned it before, because I really like it.
\nDaily Examen is a simple practice, it is flexible, it is meaningful,
\nand it is HANDS DOWN the best way I know of for discernment of BIG
\nLIFE THINGS.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It
\ncan be done individually, with a friend or partner, or in a group.
\nIt goes like this. \u00a0You do what you need to do to center yourself, be
\nthat lighting a candle, turning on music, sitting comfortably, taking
\ndeep breathes, or all of the above. \u00a0Then, in language that works for
\nyou, you ask the Divine to work with you in reviewing the past 24
\nhours. \u00a0As you review the day, you seek out what the best part was
\nand what the worst part was. \u00a0You may want to ask this differently:
\nwhen was I most connected to Love, when I was I least connected to
\nLove, when did I feel most whole, when did I feel least whole, etc.
\nThe goal is to find a \u201chigh\u201d and a \u201clow\u201d and THEN to thank
\nGod for both, and for everything in-between. \u00a0\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Then,
\nif you are working with others, you share that information. \u00a0In any
\ncase, you write them down: the date, the best, and the worst. \u00a0After
\na while…. weeks, or months… you review what you’ve written and
\nyou pay attention to patterns. \u00a0Was the worst part of you day more
\noften than not related to your job? \u00a0Then it is definitely time to
\nconsider if that aspect of your job can change, OR if your job can
\nchange, or if your attitude about your job needs to change. \u00a0Was the
\nbest part fo your day often the time you spent with your pet? \u00a0Then
\nlikely it would be great to find ways to maximize that. \u00a0Or, perhaps,
\nwas the best part of your day some ministry or group you only get to
\ndo very once in a while \u2013 but every time it happens it was the
\nbest? \u00a0Then, perhaps that is something you want to give more
\nattention to.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

See?
\n Pay attention to patterns, and USE them to discern ways to live a
\nlife with even more good, more love, more wholeness. \u00a0I want to note
\nthat the staff I and I do this at staff meeting, although then we
\nreview the whole week. \u00a0I’m often SHOCKED that the answers I find
\naren’t the ones I expect, and I think we all know each other a whole
\nlot more because we’ve heard where both joy and frustration live in
\neach other’s lives.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

If
\nyou want a resource to help you with this process, the book \u201cSleeping
\nwith Bread\u201d is particularly excellent.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The
\nsecond practical offering I have for you is from Nonviolent
\nCommunication (insert gasps of shock here). \u00a0As a whole, nonviolent
\ncommunication teaches us to listen and to speak in four parts: \u00a0\n<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n\t\t\t<\/li>\n
  2. \n\t\t\t<\/li>\n
  3. \n\t\t\t<\/li>\n
  4. \n\t\t<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    With
    \n\t\t\tclear objective observation<\/p>\n

    In
    \n\t\t\tnaming and claiming emotions. \u00a0(ie. \u201cI feel \u2026\u201dand never \u201cYou
    \n\t\t\tmake me feel…\u201d<\/p>\n

    In
    \n\t\t\tidentifying and noticing the needs that are connected to the
    \n\t\t\tfeelings<\/p>\n

    In
    \n\t\t\tmaking requests.<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    The
    \nabsolute key, as I see it, of Nonviolent Communication is in the link
    \nbetween steps 2 and 3. \u00a0That’s the part where we take feelings we are
    \nfeeling and examine them to figure out what needs are under them.
    \nThis process has proven to me that it can unravel even the most
    \ncomplex experiences and responses for me. \u00a0For example, I can think
    \nof a time when I have felt annoyed. \u00a0This is definitely something
    \nworth considering, because it is MUCH more likely to give me
    \ninformation about myself and what I’m needing than it is about what
    \nI’d otherwise call the \u201csource of my annoyance.\u201d \u00a0If I am
    \nannoyed, it is because some need or needs of MINE aren’t being met.
    \nSometimes this is because my need for rest isn’t being met. \u00a0Other
    \ntimes it is my need for harmony, other times for order! \u00a0In fact,
    \nfeeling annoyed has sometimes reflected a need for some
    \nconsideration. \u00a0In this way of looking at things, feelings are gifts
    \ngiven to us to help us navigate and understand the needs that
    \nmotivate them. \u00a0They’re like flags marking something that needs our
    \nattention. \u00a0(Note: anger is super extra this, it marks a violation of
    \nsomething we really value!)<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    Once
    \nwe are able to notice a feeling, it gives us a chance to consider
    \nwhat needs are underneath it. \u00a0Then, once we know the need, we have a
    \nLOT of information about what is going on with us. \u00a0Further, since
    \nneeds can be met in infinite ways, we have a lot of choices about how
    \nto proceed. \u00a0If what I’m needing is rest, I can go home and take a
    \nnap… or I can go to the bathroom and take an extra long time
    \nwashing my hands…. or maybe just take a moment and say a few breath
    \nprayers. \u00a0If what I’m needing is consideration, then I have the
    \nchance to consider what that can look like and if I’m willing to make
    \na request related to it.<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    All
    \nof this means that feelings, which we have all the time, can be great
    \nsources of wisdom about who we are, what we need, and that opens up
    \nthe door for some great discernment.<\/p>\n

    It
    \nseems like a good moment to point out that in Nonviolent
    \nCommunication, needs are considered universal, and they’re not a bad
    \nthing. \u00a0They just ARE. \u00a0The goal is to become aware of them when
    \nthey’re flaring up and then become aware of the MANY ways they can be
    \nfulfilled, so that we start getting creative rather than trying to
    \nforce the same solutions over and over that don’t work.<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    Discernment
    \n is very different from decision making. \u00a0It is deeper. \u00a0It is about
    \nthe why even more than the what. \u00a0It can be reached through Daily
    \nExamen, or Nonviolent communication considerations, or even just
    \nthrough the quiet of contemplative prayer. \u00a0I appreciate a difference
    \nbetween petitionary prayer \u2013 asking God for stuff- and
    \ncontemplative prayer \u2013 being present with God. \u00a0Personally, I enjoy
    \nand find much more value in the latter. \u00a0It also helps with
    \ndiscernment. \u00a0\n<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    I’ve
    \nbeen told that when Quakers have an extra long agenda for a meeting,
    \nthey spend twice as long in silent prayer before it begins. \u00a0There is
    \nwisdom in that. \u00a0Rushing to decisions can be as bad as avoiding them
    \nall together. \u00a0But discernment, deep consideration, gives us all a
    \nway to make good, spiritual decisions. \u00a0\n<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    It
    \nturns out, of course, that pouring expensive perfume on Jesus’s feet
    \nwas a perfectly acceptable option. \u00a0I maintain that selling it and
    \ngiving the money away would have been too. \u00a0The key is probably in
    \nthe reasons underneath and around each decision, and figuring those
    \nout takes discernment.<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    May
    \nwe practice it \u2013 regularly and well. \u00a0Amen <\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    1<\/a>Gail
    \n\tR. O’Day, \u201cJohn\u201d New Interpreter’s Bible page 702.<\/p>\n

    2<\/a>Apple
    \n\tDictionary, \u201cdiscernment\u201d accessed 4\/4\/2019.<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    Rev. Sara E. Baron
    First United Methodist Church of Schenectady
    603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305
    Pronouns: she\/her\/hers
    http:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/<\/a>
    \u2028https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/FUMCSchenectady<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    April 7, 2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    This Mary washing Jesus’s feet with her hair story is a variation on stories found in the Synoptic Gospels. \u00a0Just … Continue reading “Figuring Out Priorities, Discernment as Prayer Practice” based on Psalm 126 and John 12:1-8<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[34,38,28,39,33,225,227,226,214,229,228,56,173,224],"class_list":["post-945","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermons","tag-fumc-schenectady","tag-progressive-christianity","tag-rev-sara-e-baron","tag-thinking-church","tag-umc","tag-change-the-world-as-a-centered-person","tag-daily-examen","tag-discernment","tag-lent","tag-nonviolent-communication","tag-nvc","tag-schenectady","tag-sorry-world-for-the-umc","tag-spiritual-practices"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/945","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=945"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/945\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1160,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/945\/revisions\/1160"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=945"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=945"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fumcschenectady.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=945"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}