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“Doubt, Peace, and Blessing” based on Acts 1:3-5, 12-14 and John 20:19-30

I care about a lot of things, and I care a lot about people and that can be challenging. I know at least some of you know what I mean. Loving people is a great and wonderful thing, but there is a lot of pain out there and it can be overwhelming.

Julian of Norwich said, “And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all matter of thing shall be well.” And I want to argue back.

I can make good arguments!

But I’m not going to share them with you.

Today I want to talk about how she is right. First, I have to note that she speaks in the future tense. She did not claim that all was well. She didn’t dismiss the suffering of her day. Instead, she speaks of hope in the power of Divine Love, she speaks resurrection, she speaks of the kindom that will come.

“And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all matter of things shall be well.”

Now, I think Thomas is the disciple for the rest of us. I adore the guy. I love how brave he is to be the one who went out when the rest of the disciples locked themselves in. I figure he was the one gathering up supplies for everyone. I love how honest he is about his disbelief. I love how is is the stand in for the rest of us who would also NOT see Jesus appear in the upper room. And I love how when he comes across new information, he changes his mind. He said he wouldn’t believe until he saw. He saw, and he believed. I love his devotion to Jesus and to Jesus’ followers. I love his resilience in being dismissed over and over again in the history of Christianity and still having such power to help us. And, of course, I love that he – like the others – was blessed with peace. Because I always love that blessing. I love that Jesus appeared showering his grieving followers with “blessed wholeness for each and all of you” and I love that we greet each other with those words in worship to this day.

So, right, I love Thomas.

And, as it turns out, I love doubts because they’re real. I love when Thomas just says, “I will not believe.” I love it when people say that to me too. I particularly love it when people name for me something they think they’re supposed to believe and don’t, and I’m able to say to them that I don’t think they have to believe that afterall.

Most of the time I’m also able to say I don’t believe it either. I learned the power of hearing that from a pastor when I was a teenager. I had come to have serious doubts about hell. It just didn’t make any sense to me that a God who loves people would send anyone to hell. I didn’t think God’s love was that small or powerless. I made an attempt to talk to my own pastor about it and he informed me that believing in hell was a requirement of Chrsitianty. Or something. I don’t really remember anything other than being told I couldn’t believe what I believed. I kept my mouth shut for quite some time afterwards, but maybe a year and a half later (I think I was 13), I was at camp and we were doing Bible Study in the woods and the topic seemed to come up and I brought it up softly. Something like, “I’m not sure that I believe in hell.” The pastor with us heard me, and told me that I should trust myself and believe what I believed.

He opened the door for me.

(Clearly I went ahead and walked all the way through.)

I think my favorite part of this story is that the pastor, who is still a mentor, doesn’t remember it. It was just a normal part of his ministry to empower people, and to affirm God’s love, and it wasn’t notable for him at the time. But I’m not sure I would have stayed in Christianity without him.

Right. So I love doubts. And I love your doubts.

In preparing for this second Sunday of Easter I found myself wondering, “What do we REALLY doubt?” I mean we as a community, which may be different from any of us individually. And I may not know. But my best guess is that we doubt, “And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all matter of things shall be well.”

For good reasons, and those are OK.

But for some bad reasons too. I think we may doubt it because the 24 hour news cycle fills up our hearts and minds with stories chosen by the principal “if it bleeds, it leads.” I think we may doubt it because social media has no conscience. I think we may doubt it because human nature tends to spend more attention on the bad then the good, requiring 5 times as much good as bad for it to get the same amount of attention. I think we may doubt it because we’ve been trained in or bought into the scarcity mentality. I think we may doubt because someones, somewheres, think it is good for sales if we are hopeless and uncomfortable and they’re good at marketing.

That’s a lot of pressure on us NOT to have hope.

It is coming at us from all directions all the time.

Dear ones, I would like us to build some resilience around ourselves, so we can let hope be nurtured and grow in us. So I want to remind you of some things that are just truly good news. Every day people leave domestic violence. And some of they stay away and never experience it again. Every day people get sober after a long experience with addiction, and some of them stay sober for the rest of their lives. Every day people who have lived through trauma find ways to keep going, to share love, to heal, to make it through. And that means that trauma doesn’t have the last word. Every day science and medicine advance and make a fuller life possible for people who didn’t have hope yesterday.

Friends, the coal industry just had a TERRIBLE first quarter.

And, you know, those African American legislators in Tennessee got their seats back. And the white woman who protested with them named racism as the reason she wasn’t kicked out, re-centering them in the conversation.

Loving relationships exist.

And, dear ones, spring comes every year and the sun rises every morning and sets every night. There is plenty of hope to ground ourselves in.

I don’t think God needs any of us to feel more guilty, to be more overwhelmed, or to have superficial knowledge of more problems.

I think God needs more people grounded in hope. So I want to ask you to pay attention to your lives. What drains your energy? What builds your energy up? Thank goodness, we’re all different and that means the answers will be different. Otherwise everyone would want to be an bus driver and no one an accountant.

Friends, please, for the love of God, take your need to rebuild your energy seriously. Do things you love. It is a form of resilience. It is a form of nurturing hope. It is a

form of faith.

So, let’s get practical. What do I mean? I mean, talk with people you laugh with. Try new things that make you a little nervous. Notice flowers when you are out and about. If you are like me, take as much time as you can to savor the silence and let it heal you from the inside out. If you are nothing like me, go to a really loud concert and let it heal you from the inside out. Look for beauty. Pay attention to goodness. Give yourself a break.

I think our doubts are likely related to doubting that we deserve good things, like the stuff that restores us. But Jesus blessed with all with comfort, hope, and peace – the peace that is blessed wholeness for us and for all. We have doubts, all of us, right? And that’s OK. But may we nurture hope by letting God help us nurture our God-given energies. For good. For peace. For hope.

“And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all matter of things shall be well.” Amen

Rev. Sara E. Baron 
First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 
603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 
Pronouns: she/her/hers 
http://fumcschenectady.org/ 
https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

April 16, 2023