I think gratitude is one of the
most important parts of our spiritual lives.  I’ve experienced this,
AND I’ve seen the research, and I love it when both are true.

The challenge is, I’m not sure
what I have to say about gratitude that is new, and I’m rather afraid
of being trite.   This tends to be my problem when I encounter
scriptures I rather agree with, rather than ones I can have a good
debate with.  But, I’ve found time and time again that a conversation
with scriptures can take me to unexpected places, so let’s see where
they lead today.

We can start with Philippians.
With that lovely repetition to “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I
will say, Rejoice.” (4:4)  I am always moved by the people I meet
who are living out this commandment. The ones attending to the good
God is doing, and speaking it with joy.  The ones focused on joy, and
rejoicing, and celebrating God’s goodness.  

I also love the next line,
inviting people to “let your gentleness be known.”  That sounds
like the highest of callings, to be known by gentleness.  I have
known some people to whom that description would apply, and it is a
gift simply to be in their presence.  Their very self-hood changes
the world around them for the better.

But then we get to “don’t
worry, trust God.”  And while it is very good advice, it is very
difficult to apply.  Especially because the world isn’t fair.  But
then again, those who I’ve known who live this are often the ones
with the least amount of worldly goods, who say they trust God
because God has provided.  So, maybe I don’t actually know that much
about this, and I simply have a lot to learn.

Then, focus on the good.  This
is the one that meets me where I am right now. This is the one
that calls for my attention, my reflection, my sharing.  So, here we
are and here we are going to stay.  In Paul’s words, “Finally,
beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,
whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if
there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things.” (4:8)

Maybe it is because of the work
I do, but it often occurs to me that the resource I spend the most
time managing is my attention.  This isn’t just about if I give my
attention to the good stuff or the hard stuff.

The daily questions start with:
Do I respond first to this email, or that one?  To email or phone
calls?  To texts or facebook messenger?  Do I end this conversation
because I have a meeting, or do I make space for this because it is
more important?  When do I know I’ve found the right poem, or hymn,
or sermon example and it is time to move on, or maybe it isn’t good
enough yet and I could keep searching.  Which book should I read
next?  Do I have time to read?  Should I go visiting?  Which
committee asked me which thing to follow up on?  Which one of those
things needs the most immediate response?  Which one of those things
will take the most preparation?  Is reading the news important so I
know what is going on, or is it a distraction to what is REALLY going
on with God and God’s people?  Do all of the staff have what they
need from me to do their jobs well?  Is it OK to just sit and be with
God before I try to balance any of these things?

(If you found that list
overwhelming, please note that it applies ONLY to my work life, and
doesn’t even touch on other parts of my life.  Also, if you found
that overwhelming, I’d appreciate knowing how you make such
decisions, cause it sounds like you may have wisdom I need.)

That last question about
sitting with God and just being before I try any of the things,
that’s the key one for me.  I’ve known since my early twenties
that I’m at my best when I get quiet time with God, but I’ve
struggled to allow myself to have the thing I need when other things
also clamor for my time and attention.  Someone recently asked me,
“if I already know what I need in order to be the best pastor and
person I can be, why am I not doing it?”  And in the question,  I
was thus reminded that connecting with God, and being centered, is
the thing that makes all the rest of what I do valuable, and it is in
EVERYONE’S best interest for me  to nurture my connection with the
Holy and to have space to hear my own wisdom (even when the wisdom is
hidden under my fears.)

So, I’ve been doing it.  Not
perfectly, but waaaayyyy more.  Sometimes I still feel guilty.
Because I could be using my time and attention for so many other
things!  But, I’m pushing through the guilt.

And the results have been
interesting.  Mostly because my capacity to see the beauty of the
world, the wonder of people, and the mysterious goodness at hand has
changed.  Being quiet in the morning (most mornings), softens me.  It
slows me down.  And it makes things easier.  I’m get hurt less
easily.  I have empathy closer at hand.  I can see details and the
big picture, at the same time, with more ease.  I’m just less
overwhelmed.

But the best part is being able
to see wonder again.  I’m awed by text messages from people, because
they so often contain wisdom and I’m able to be thankful.  The other
day – please don’t judge – I saw a dust particle floating in a
stream of sunshine and it was beautiful, and I had ENTIRELY forgotten
that dust can be awe inspiring and beautiful.  I’m a little more
flexible (don’t expect immediate miracles people), which makes
everything flow easier in … well, parenting, and being a partner,
and in being a pastor.  

For me, the key to being able to
bring my attention to “whatever is true, whatever is honorable,
whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is
commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything
worthy of praise” isn’t in just trying harder to focus on
the good things.  For me, at least, the way to bring my attention to
the good is to attend to what I need to be whole, and then the rest
flows.

Now, some of you are great at
letting yourselves have the things you need.  I commend you, and
apologize for this mostly useless sermon as far as you are concerned.
However, for a wide range of reasons (including “capitalism”) a
whole lot of us aren’t great at letting ourselves have what we need.
Sometimes there are external factors that make it hard (or
impossible.)  But often, there are  internal ones.  I can tell you
that I believe God wants you to have your needs met.  I can tell you
that if you stop fighting what you need as too much, or too selfish,
or unreasonable, or … whatever you tell yourself… that other
goodness flows from letting yourself get what you need.

Now, I continue to believe I’m
likely not alone in needing quiet time with God, but I also think
that my need is a little different than other people’s.  This week I
was given the gift of a GREAT descriptor of this church as a group of
people who love kinetic prayer.  That is, many of us around here NEED
to give back.  Some people NEED to hear gorgeous music and just feel
the wonder of it in their bodies.  Some people NEED to move in nature
or their souls start to shrivel up.  Some people NEED connections
with others, regularly.  (I think we all do, but more so for
extroverts.) Some people NEED to create.  I can’t tell you what you
need, but I suspect you already know.  

The key is to let God help you
whittle away at the internal barriers to allowing yourself to
prioritize what you need.  

So, a quick hot take on
Deuteronomy.  This is the story of God giving the people what they
need.  Land to work, food to eat, homes to settle into.  And the
people give back to God of what they have.  That is, they RECIEVE the
gifts of God, and they give back from what they have RECIEVED.

Maybe I’m wrong, and maybe it’s
just me, and if so I’m sorry for wasting your time but I’m really
happy for you.  That is, maybe I’m the only one still struggling to
receive God’s good gifts, and let myself have what I need.  If not
though.  If you still struggle too, may this be a moment of
assurance.  We have to receive what God gives us before we do
anything else with it.  It is hard, TRUST ME I KNOW, but God wants
goodness for you.

Please don’t stand in God’s way.

And when you let God’s good
gifts fill you up, the gratitude comes on its own.  And it is
amazing.  May you see it too.  Amen

November 20, 2022

Rev. Sara E. Baron
First United Methodist Church of Schenectady
603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305
Pronouns: she/her/hers
http://fumcschenectady.org/
https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady